C for my thesis...
Banyak perkara yang jadi.
In short, ayuni sendiri tak kenal diri dia..
I already promised to myself I won't rebelled anymore.
But then, I broke my promised last semester.
And due to my actions I got C for my thesis.
Yes, siapa yang tak kecewa dengan result macamtu.
Lagi2 seorang Ayuni tak penah dapat C. and C is rarely happened in our department.
So, can you guess how was my feeling when I got the result?
Dah takda nangis dah. Sebab penat menangis nak siapkan mende alah tu. Penat torture mental.
I am not that dissapointed with C because I knew it was my mistake for not showing the first draft (which was I should send to my SV) but the thing is, my SV words is too much.
I considered his action was degrading people. That was why I rarely met him for my thesis.
My mistake right. Blame me. but then I felt part of it was his mistake for not appreciating my effort. Calling it as useless, sampah, nothing... By that time, I totally felt like I was the most stupidest person in UM.
So, basically, my mental had been tortured.
For a year I tried to pretend like everything will be alright. Everyday, I need to say to myself that ignore him. and keep focus on what you need to do.
And, I failed.
I had a sleep-disorder because of stress. This thing happened for a year actually, but then it became worse for the second semester which was last semester. After I realized it's not worth to sacrifice my precious sleep and emotion to him, I try to be like 'lantak kaulah nak jadi apa, asalkan siap!'.. (originally, I planned to fail)
So, what I want to say is, dear people in the world, please do not degrade people. Jangan rasa diri hebat sangat sampai nak judge, masa depan orang. Calling people as GRO which is obviously takde kaitan dengan thesis. Mulut jangan longkang sangat, karang termakan diri.
And dear people who got failed or lower score, do not loose your confidence. Keep walking, face it and work hard to prove, even you are failed you can achieve what you want. Dare to dream. because a brave people is always a winner.